Too Fat For Sex?
A recent survey of 4000 women reveals some heartbreaking but not all that surprising information on women’s experience of their sexuality.
Over half of respondents admitted that they avoid having sex because they feel too fat, or are embarrassed about certain parts of their bodies. Now we all know that women feel pressured to live up to ideals of beauty that are seldom realistic, but 52%… That is a lot of sex not being had because of feelings of unattractiveness.
Also, of the women polled, 13% said they would only have sex if the lights are off. That is certainly not ideal, I mean in a perfect world we would strive to have everyone accept themselves as is and leave the lights on, but at least that 13% is still being intimate with their partners.
A good trick if you have parts of your body that you are very self conscious about would be to wear something sexy, like a slip, or a cute tank top and keep it on, as well as the lights, during sex. With the lights on you still get all the yummy visual cues. You might not think so, but trust me, your partner wants to see you.
Another trick is to watch more Porn. Ok I know I’m coming out of left field with this but hear me out; I think it’s healthy for women to spend some time perusing porn sites so that they see a variety of women of all shapes, sizes, colors, weights, age, engaging in sexual activity. I mean what is our model of sexual female? Actresses in sex scenes? too skinny, too perfect. What else? When do women actually get to see what “real” sex looks like in all its messiness, skin folds, stretch marks, blemishes, and awkwardness. Now keep in mind porn is still scripted and planned out, but at least it shows some range of possibilities.
If you recognize yourself in the 52% that avoids sex, try these tricks, wear something sexy, have a glass of wine, watch more porn. Sometimes it only takes one thing to completely change the way we see ourselves.
Image courtesy of DailyMail.co.uk